Technology in a Narcissist/Borderline Relationship

 In Love, Relationships


A man and woman taking a selfie on the dock.

The Narcissist and the Borderline is the classic explosive romantic relationship. In this scenario, the Narcissist is the male while the Borderline is the female partner. There is strong attraction between both. The attraction is so strong that it tilts toward obsession. The mind games are equally intense as the Narcissist needs to feel wanted, and creates a river of giving to the Borderline. The Borderline is equally smart, and she will take everything she can from the Narcissist. Get ready for a blockbuster show when social media and technology is added to the mix.

In social media, everyone knows you can share, tag, and tweet. However, when a Borderline begins to play on the needs of the Narcissist, the memes get real personal. Every post, every graphic, and every click on the like button is suddenly about their relationship. Passive aggressiveness takes up residence in the relationship. The Narcissist is grappling to “fix†the relationship, while the Borderline enjoys the attention. All of this is playing out in a public venue on social media.

The Narcissist thrives on instant gratification of social media when the number of “likes†and “sharesâ€Â can inflate their feelings of self-importance. The Borderline will then have a response of feared abandonment. This can trigger the wicked explosive cycle of the Narcissist/Borderline relationship.

In a more private setting, texting or even GPS tracking can help or harm the relationship. Android phones do not provide as much information as iPhones provide. When both partners use iPhones, the user can see when text messages are read, and can even share real-time GPS tracking if the user chooses to do so. Both of these functions of the iPhone can build strength and trust in a relationship. However, with a Narcissist and Borderline relationship this type of technology can easily become a pawn in their game. If the partners only communicate via text, communication can easily become distorted. One misplaced exclamation mark, and the entire day will be an argument. If the Borderline and Narcissist want a successful relationship, talking on the phone is essential. Hearing a loved one’s voice can exponentially decrease stress, and increase harmony.

Awareness of each other’s personality traits, strengths, and weakness is the key to success in a Narcissist/Borderline relationship. The attraction is always strong between these personalities. If both partners genuinely desire a successful relationship, then both partners must work hard to be transparent, honest, and trust in each other for support.

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