Sisters And Love Hate Relationships

 In Relationships


SistersJodi Picoult, “My Sister’s Keeper”, says about sisters: “If you have a sister and she dies, do you stop saying you have one? Or are you always a sister, even when the other half of the equation is gone?â€

If you are at all familiar with the story, the pivotal character was basically born to provide spare parts for her sister, she then went to court to stop her parents from making the decisions to risk her life too… she won. This did not detract from the fact that she loved her sister and parents, but it is easy to understand the resentment. Although not all sister-sister relationships are as extreme as this, the story does make a clear-cut point for the common love-hate bond which often takes place in strained sibling relationships; in this case – instigated by the parents.

There are both benefits and drawbacks in all relationships, and it is not always cast in stone that sisters who are close in age are naturally going to be best friends. For a perspective on the love-hate relationship between sisters – some sisters may travel the path of ultimate sisterly love, while others may pack a punch in the most literal terms. It might be a struggle to understand what is happening, but just remember you are not alone. For some people this is just how the relationship is.
Sisters may grow up to be close, while others only encounter problems once in every while. This is generally a normal part of growing up; however, when it extends into adult-hood, there may be a bit of a problem. A damaged relationship with a sister can impact on life, as they provide invaluable support systems to each other when things go wrong. It is always wise to try to repair damaged relationships, or at least to try.

The closer sisters are in age, atypically the more troublesome the relationship is. They compete for parental attention, and as much as some parents try not to be, they often seem to be more partial to one sibling over the other, and this just causes further problems. The scars from this ‘almost’ rejection can last a lifetime for some.

Sisters who are further apart in age, often have better relationships. They are also more likely to love one-another for life. I remember when I was pregnant with my second daughter – my eldest said she did not want a baby brother or sister, but fell in love with her immediately when she was brought home. One daughter is 32 the other is 22 years old and they are still best of friends, having never fallen out of grace with each other for even a day in their lives. The problem is competition and being at odds with each other, this seems to cause a rift. My Brothers three daughters are 8 and 9 years apart and all three of them adore one-another.

Parents are not the only one’s responsible for sister relationships that go awry; friends may compare them and boyfriends might do the same, this is also enough to cause strain. While they don’t really understand the damage this can do – it remains all the same. Things can go bad really quickly especially if they share the same friends and have the same taste in men. That’s why it is a good idea for sisters to maintain different dating and circles of friends.

Just as in a love relationship – in a love-hate relationship – there is more than one side to the story. Both sisters are responsible for anything that goes wrong, so, both sisters need to consider how things can be changed. It’s best to let go of old resentments; when grown up…sisters really don’t need to be rivals, and just remember if you have a disagreement sort it out as quickly as possible. In some cases sisters don’t talk for years, but quite frankly there should be nothing that can come between sisters and the close bond that they have, just as long as they don’t allow it to. While best friends come and go – sisters are sisters for life.

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