Communication in Marriage is Key

 In Marriage, Relationships


A green logo of the word " nore ".Communication in General

All living creatures communicate in some form or another. It has also become patently evident that communication takes place because it is a vital component of survival. Birds don’t tweet, squeak and squawk just to pass the time of day, and in humans’ communication is just as vital as a survival technique. Even when we have a coffee morning with the girls and the conversation goes – “OMG, I’ll just die if I can’t get that pair of red Jimmy Choo’s!”; looking at communication at a baser level, it is still a matter of survival – life or death in this case. ☺

Respect

Good communication in marriage as in all things is key; there are also various aspects to communication and it is important to note that respectful communication avoids disrespectful judgment – something that many marriages may fall prey to. Criticizing, berating, intimidating or sarcastic responses, even body language such as eye-rolling; these are disrespectful communication responses. While humor has its place in a marriage as in all aspects of life, continual “taking the Mickey” can also be disrespectful. Having a bit of fun at the expense of a spouse has its own time and place.

Quantitative Communication

Communication can be measured and good or meaningful communication takes place in the average household for approximately 15 minutes a week. This measurement needs to improve. Couples who work to improve qualitative and quantitative communication do this every opportunity they get. This means multi-tasking to a degree and taking every possible opportunity to make conversation meaningful. Driving in the car, at the dinner table including the children, taking a walk, working around the house, before bed, in bed, there are many opportunities. The point is to remember to take advantage of these opportunities so that the measure of meaningful communication increases.

Good Communication – Listening

In marriage, again as in all things, communication is a two-way street, talking at someone is not communication. The ability to listen well is a part of this two-way street and this means engaging in positive body language: Good eye contact, positive facial interaction and basically just good manners while a spouse is saying their piece. A spouse who dominates the conversation is engaging in bad communication; both should be offered the chance to say their piece and be attentively heard. Constant interruptions are not ok, because this is essentially a refusal to listen – impinge will upon the other partner and it will break down trust.  Asking questions is fine to fully grasp a point, in fact this is advisable – once again questions need to be raised in an appropriately respectful manner.

Honesty

Honest communication instills trust; one spouse who lies to the other is playing with fire as the consequences of being found out are fodder to feed long-term consequences. Honesty means not avoiding any issue that a spouse would want to, and has the right to know. An act of omission is perceived to be as serious as an act of commission in terms of honesty. The aim is not to be cruel by being honest and hurting a spouse, so, as always respect in honesty also applies.

Trust is established with good respectful communication; trust has the ability to cast away all fears and suspicion and makes for a happy life. Without trust there is very little faith in a relationship at the very real risk of unhappiness.

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