A Relationship Without Technology

 In Love, Relationships, Technology


A man and woman laying on the bed

“You just slip out the back, Jack. Make a new plan, Stan. You don’t need to be coy, Roy. Just get yourself free. Hop on the bus, Gus. You don’t need to discuss much. Sending a text could be best. Just drop off the key, Lee, and get yourself free.†– Paul Simon, 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover

Did you read those lyrics? Sending a text seems like it’s a good option when you are considering slipping on the back, Jack. Paul Simon may have been searching for the easy way out when things just got too complicated with his lover. In reality, all of these options simply come down to avoidance.

The art of communication has been consumed by the ease of technology, even in relationships. Technology is eroding our ability to live comfortably off line. The convenience of texting has hampered our ability to artfully express our emotions through conversations, whispers, or body language. We are protected in a text message, and tethered to technology. In addition, we become more available to people who we are not physically with, and maintaining more eye contact with our phone than the person sitting across the table.

There is an element of reduced intimacy in our relationships. People will frequently frown upon break-ups or sharing important news via text message. However, the frequency of sending a text is increasing because of the convenience. The text message can be the one and done. “I want to end our relationship.†Then you block the person from your phone, and the mess is wiped clean……except for the emotions. Be human, and never settle for that kind of communication.

A sacredness of time and place should be established for certain activities. If you are with the love of your life, then be with the love of your life. Be present, and don’t make them compete with a piece of technology in your hand. Listen, and take the time to hear the inflections in their voice which is always missing in text messages. Refresh, restore, and commit to the relationship that may be struggling. Then you won’t need to consider 51 ways to leave your lover.

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